Justin's Moment
by saveyou
Summary: What happens when Justin gets a minute to himself to relax? Jalex.


_Author's Note: Takes place around the beginning of S3 of WOWP._

**Justin's Moment**

They had just closed up the Sub Station for the night and everyone else was upstairs getting ready for dinner so Justin had a rare moment of quiet relaxation in the lair. Taking full advantage of it, he was stretched out on the couch with his feet propped on the coffee table. His head was tilted back, resting comfortably while he had his eyes closed – a picture of sereneness.

As always, he had his wand in hand, gently tapping it against his leg to some unknown rhythm. Anyone else who saw him would think he was normal teenager, lazing away while listening to some obscure band that thinks screaming obscenities and ranting about the pointlessness of existence is the deepest and most profound form of artistic expression. But that wasn't Justin. Maybe a little bit. But not really.

No, what would fail to escape most is that he wasn't even listening to music at all. Underneath that calm and tranquil exterior, he was doing what he did best. An audiobook version of "101 Ways to Being a Better Spellcaster" played in his ears, and the tapping of his wand was not a random action, but rather, practice.

He was in his world and he liked it.

Justin tried to focus on the words of the narrator, tried to burn them into his brain so much that he would be able to recite them from memory if need be. No matter what he did, the need to excel, to be better, to meet and fulfill expectations - it was always driving him. Now more than ever. The rest of his surroundings were entirely blocked out as he used his utmost form of concentration. It wasn't until a tell-tale weight settled intimately on to his lap that he broke out of it.

Strangely enough, he hadn't been surprised, rather he was expecting it… or maybe just hoping for it. Either way, a silly grin spread across his face, but he didn't open his eyes just then. He had hardened almost instantaneously at the contact - just knowing the pleasure in store was more than enough to have him straining at the seams, bucking for release. She drew it out in him so alarmingly well, the sheer strength of his constant arousal in proximity to her was perhaps to a point where he should have been worried, but instead Justin could only secretly revel in the passion she so magnanimously provoked. Instinctively, his hands traveled up her thighs that were placed on either side of him and leisurely he explored until coming to rest on her hips.

_Oh. That was different._

It felt like she was she wearing a dress… but she never wore dresses (not unless under severe duress).

He opened his eyes, expecting a familiar curtain of dark hair, a perfectly formed mouth, and wide chocolate eyes hovering over him that were confoundingly capable of producing so much intensity whether it be love, pure evil, or both simultaneously.

"Juliet!?!" he yelped and promptly yanked out the earpieces to stare up at his very blonde, very vampire, very not-_her_, girlfriend.

A sickening guilt struck him full force, and his head spun with the abrupt and nearly violent change his body and mind experienced. It felt like such a betrayal. He could barely choke out the words he should say. Juliet didn't seem to notice in the slightest as she gazed down at him with an amorous and slightly disturbing grin (it was the fangs). She leaned down to kiss him which he barely mustered the capacity to return.

"Am I interrupting anything?" she asked coyly.

Immediately he began to protest, breaking out in a cold sweat as he stammered an incoherent and rambling response that was certain to give away his anxiety ridden state, but he managed to shut himself up in time when he realized that she was teasing him.

Justin never thought of himself as a bad person. On the contrary, he most likely thought too much of himself. Still, at least he could always come away from a situation knowing that he wasn't a degenerate, he had morals, values, that he would do what he could, and even if there were mistakes, he was still essentially a _good person_. After these past few months… he didn't think that anymore.

The twisted feeling in his stomach only grew more and more painful. He truly felt sick, nausea rolled through him waves. Juliet leaned in again and started peppering kisses along his jaw before dipping down to his neck. It's not that it didn't feel nice, it did, very nice – great even. Juliet was beautiful, intelligent, funny, and she actually liked him for (not in spite of) his… quirks. She was everything he could have wished to have in a girlfriend. He didn't even mind the vampire part! There was just one thing. Everything else paled in comparison.

Normally, he would have complied with her desire and given in a little bit to fool around, but he couldn't seem to recover enough from the face-smacking change he just experienced. He was scrambling to find some hold, gather his senses, pull himself back into the Justin he was supposed to be and not what he was. Being caught so overwhelmingly off-guard was too much for him, he didn't do well unprepared.

This wasn't right.

Images of _her_ flashed before his eyes without him having any chance of stopping it. Her head thrown back in ecstasy, harsh whispers in his ear, small cries, whimpers, her touch, his name expelled past her lips, her naked body flush against his, the heat that warmed every inch of him, hidden moments in the shadows, between the sheets, her smile.

Juliet hovered above him and Justin began to suffocate, gasping for air. Clumsily, he shoved her aside and bolted away from the couch. Juliet looked up at him, stunned, and watched as he paced back and forth. His hands waved about wildly as he gave excuses that were nowhere near the truth. Someone could walk in. Dinner would be ready any minute. He wasn't allowed to have girls over this late.

She was disappointed, it was written all over her face, and the guilt drowned him further than he ever thought possible. True to her nature, Juliet shrugged it off, and bounced over to him to kiss him goodbye with a sweet smile and a vague promise of "next time". As soon as she left the room, Justin collapsed on the couch with a mixture of frustration and relief, burying his face in the cushions as if that would help him escape the torturously uncomfortable feelings of shame. Juliet needed someone who could love her, and that was something he couldn't give.

Alex walked in not a second later, making a face towards the kitchen. "Whoa, she went heavy on the vanilla today. Must have smelled deader than usual."

Justin groaned, as if that had somehow made it worse, and pounded on the couch. "Allergies," he answered, muffled by the cushions.

She only raised an eyebrow at his position and walked behind the couch. Leaning her elbows on the back edge, she sighed and poked him. "What's wrong with you?"

His first instinct was not to tell her, but as soon as he thought that, it was all he wanted to do. Within seconds he was weakened by an urgent desperation to confess everything. For what? So that maybe she could make it better? Tell him that he wasn't really as terrible a person as he thought. Would she be his bratty little sister in her reply? Or would she be that kinder, gentler, more feeling and thoughtful person that lay beneath the surface? Whom he had managed to catch only glimpses of so far? After a long beat, Justin wrestled on the matter, and then finally sat up with a jerk. Scooting forward, he rested his elbows on his knees and locked his hands together in a tense position as he prepared himself for what he was about to say.

"I can't do it anymore."

Alex's eyes flashed with something akin to worry, but it vanished just as quickly, and she climbed over the back of the couch to settle in wordlessly beside him. She arranged herself against the arm, bringing her knees to her chest so that the toes of her flats were nearly touching his thigh. She didn't seem willing to say anything in response, subtly bracing herself until he spoke again.

Justin couldn't look at her just yet.

"I have to break up with Juliet."

A tiny sense of change flickered through the girl at his side and she loosened her grip. "Why?" she asked in her nonchalant tone that always made him question whether or not she was actually listening at all.

"Why?" he echoed incredulously. "Alex! I can't keep doing this… it's killing me! I'm lying all the time. It's wrong and I won't do this to her anymore. She doesn't deserve someone like me."

"Is that it?"

Before he could remind himself that he wasn't ready to look at her, Justin's head snapped up in bewilderment. "What are you talking about? You don't think that's a good enough reason??"

She simply shrugged and looked at her nails. "I dunno - but is that all?"

If Alex didn't think this was a reason to break up with a person, he shuddered to think what would be enough in her mind. "What else could there be?"

Now it was her turn to look frustrated and she rolled her eyes in a huff before folding her legs into a sitting position, making her lean a little more closely to him. "Justin, do you _want_ to break up with Juliet? Usually when a person wants to dump the other person, they don't look like the ones getting dumped!"

He didn't know what to say to that. A part of him didn't want things to end with Juliet, as messed up as they were right now. He truly did care about her and it pained him to think he would hurt her, but there was no other option. It wasn't love and lying wasn't going to make it better no matter how much he wished it would. So he answered Alex as honestly as he could.

"I want… to want to be with her."

She stared at him for a moment, her expression unreadable. Then she turned away, not shyly, Alex didn't seem capable of shyness, but it was… grievingly. He wanted so much to touch her at that moment, to assure her that whatever she was thinking, it couldn't be true. Nothing that made her look that way could be true.

It was with thick reluctance that she replied, "I _want _to want you with her too."

He slumped against the couch, unsure of whether to be reprieved or bruised by her words (which was often the case with Alex). Maybe neither was the correct answer. Such a weight loaded on his shoulders he struggled to bear - she always held it so much better than him.

"But here we are."

Alex watched him quietly for a moment and then leaned toward him until she pressed against his side. Justin's heartbeat picked up. He both wanted her closeness and didn't want it all at the same time. He wanted her near him, against him, around him, in him, and yet as far away as possible. They were so wrong. What they were doing was so wrong. Then she kissed his temple and her fingers lightly caressed his jaw in such an expression of tenderness that most people didn't think Alex was capable of. He knew better. He knew her in ways that no one else would ever know. Just as she knew him in return, perhaps even more than he liked.

They were inexplicably entwined in all the right and wrong ways, it couldn't be helped, it would never be anything else. He loved her as a sister, as a friend, as an enemy, as a lover. Alex acted as though he had a choice, that he could choose Juliet, but didn't she understand that it was never about choice?

It was never a matter of decision when it came to her - there were no options, only what was. Accept it or fight it, the end result was always the same. Their entire lives, in whatever role they deigned to play that day, never did he have a choice when it came to Alex Russo.

Her lips closed over his and an echo of contentment passed between them. Her mouth always fit so flawlessly with his, so naturally. From the first time they kissed, they might as well have been doing it all their lives - and wondered if they hadn't already been. His arm wrapped around her waist of its own accord and he pulled her to him so that she shifted and settled on his lap. She kissed him deeply and almost reassuringly, which made him want to laugh and sob at the same time. His little sister was comforting him, telling him that it was going to be alright, that _they_ would be alright.

When she broke away, Justin kept his eyes closed, relishing the sweet taste of her that lingered.

Why did it have to be this way?

He took a deep breath, his hands firmly on her hips over the rough material of her jeans, and slowly opened his eyes once more. There it was.

The dark curtain of hair cascading over him, the round, shapely mouth that so effortlessly tortured him, and the chocolate brown eyes that held so much more to be known. She had asked him what he wanted, and here it was. Just this moment - that was all he ever wanted. A lifetime of these moments with her. The love that swelled inside him, as he looked up into her beautiful, inquiring face, made him understand. He _knew_.

"Is it okay?" she asked in a quiet voice unlike herself.

He smiled, though it was tinged with sadness. "It's perfect."

Alex gazed down at him knowingly for what seemed an eternity too short, then her brow crinkled, her mouth forming a well-known frown, and she looked around searchingly. He was just about to ask her what was wrong when she rooted through the couch cushions and pulled out his ipod that he had forgotten to shut off earlier. Before he could take it back, she looked at the screen and groaned in disgust.

"101 Ways to Being a Better Spellcaster?! _Justinnnn_!" she whined. "Why do you do this to me? Are you _that_ determined to keep your dork status?"

He snatched it out of her hands with a look of grim determination. "Nope! You're not going to ruin it. It's still perfect."


End file.
